Ramblings of a coherent mind..

This is just ramblings of my mind put directly into words. I haven't been writing recently since I m facing stressful situation. I‘ll be back in January since my exams will finish and I’ll have some free time . . Now the things coming in my mind.

Stress
Stress is a natural phenomenon . You do need some amount of stress to function properly . But the line separating good and bad stress is very thin . You need to draw the limit yourself. You know the amount of stress you can withstand or which you are comfortable . You do have to make your own choice . Once you have made it never ever regret it, since it will be in your best interest . Nobody else knows more about you than yourself .

Achievements
About achievements my idea is that one can achieve absolutely anything he wants to achieve, provided he's willing to pay the price . . Yes nothing comes free in this world! You do have to sacrifice in order to achieve your goals .Most of the time it is something very dear to you. But only by making what you want to achieve as the most dear thing will you be attaining the eligibility of an achiever. I always believe that behind great achievements there are untold stories of great selfless sacrifices . I could quote many examples here but time doesn't permit me . .

Trust
Now something about trust . Its absolute belief in a person or institution or phenomenon. I had read a nice example somewhere . Its about a baby when you throw it above, it laughs loudly since it completely trusts you that you'll hold it when falling! Its an important issue that whom should we trust. My idea is time will tell you whom to trust . . Always the people who have been with you for long time are more reliable . Don't open up to people who try to be close in a hurry . As they say the faster they rise the sooner they fall. . Most of the time these people will be trying to manipulate you for their gains. . My idea is first trust yourself, then trust god ,then trust parents and then your friends . . It works well . .

Back up plans
This one is good . I took this idea from a children’s fantasy book! Artemis fowl series to be precise . . Well the idea is not committing yourself into one single plan or route . Always have a back up plan . Even though it sounds silly but i found it highly effective. You'll be better prepared to face the situation if you have a back up plan although you may not use it. It boosts your confidence . It makes you think about situations more clearly and in more detail . . Basically life is unpredictable and change is the one constant thing in life . . This provides a shortcut to adapt yourself into new situation optimally . .
I d like to write more about this later. . All the things written above are my personal opinions and you are free to disagree . . Will be coming back after a short leave . . So see you next month .

That was a lesson well taught Ma'am

A teachers day special from my side. How I learnt to be a topper in class.

This happened when I was in 3d standard, I used to think myself as a big boss of the class, I used to get good marks too but I wasn't the topper in class. There was this class teacher of mine, her name was Philomena teacher. She used to take special interest on me I don't know why. . She must've seen something special.
And so it was exam time. class test in science I think. I didn't study for it but simply went just like that! I was overconfident there. Amazing to say that I still remember the questions of that exam! It was the structure of a plant and one question on environment . I hadn't studied well so I made a diagram of whatever that came to my mind. So that was it.

Two days later it was the result time and she started distributing answer papers. To my ultimate horror I found out that she had failed me! I had never failed in an exam before. . . I felt so ashamed and humiliated that time.

Then she was giving two beatings with scale to those who failed. When it was my turn , I held my hand out and started crying . I still think cried pretty badly there ;-) she gave me one beating and then she took me into her arms and consoled me. She told where I went wrong and that all was not lost .

She said I could come first in class if I wanted to, just that I had to work for it . That was a lesson well taught and well learnt. I never looked back after that , I started reading with the zeal from that day . I was a topper in class all through my primary, high school and pre universities . . Nice to remember now that all my successes began with that failure! I am ever grateful to her for opening my eyes at such a young age and lighting the fire of knowledge inside me .Thank you madam..

Lets Meditate!!

I'd like to share my views on meditation with you. I think the concept of meditation is ever more relevant in 21st century .In the present world full of hectic schedules and deadlines and lots of other stresses and strains, one should try to calm his mind otherwise he is sure to get hypertensive or diabetic. Also incidence of heart attacks in young people is on the rise. So all of us should try to get hold of our emotions and behavior otherwise we might be in a high risk situation later in life.

I have to tell you why I turned towards meditation. My day to day life was full of stresses and I used to feel very bad about myself at the end of the day . Also that I felt alone most of the time and that used to depress me a lot. From this year beginning I started getting migraine headache also! So I had to do something about it . To tell you the truth I didn't like to start meditating , I thought it was old fashioned .

But one day as I was talking with my classmates I found out that many of them were practicing meditation. I was surprised and then even I wanted to do it ! Peer pressure you see, I never thought my friends would be doing it, but once I found out that they also did it then I didn't have any inhibitions.

I referred many books before starting and once I started meditating I realised what all I had missed! It was such a wonderful experience! I have been practicing it from last two months and I have noticed myself thinking more clearly, being more calm and I have better control over my emotions now. My headaches have subsided . Although its too early to declare success , I am very confident that my personality will improve .

I have realised that I had a very wrong perception of what meditation is when I started doing it. Meditation is not about controlling your mind like a remote, you don't need to concentrate to meditate , you don't have to sit in difficult postures and you don't need to do it for hours. Rather my understanding of meditation is that it is a science of observing your mind . Its not about control but about release of pent up emotions and thoughts .Its a scientific method, has nothing to do with religion. If you want to meditate you'll have to learn to allow disturbing thoughts but not being affected by it. Restriction never helps. .

You can practice it sitting in a chair or cot. I meditate only 10-15 minutes per day but even this little does help . One of the easiest methods is to sit in calm surroundings and observing your breath . So concluding my article, I'd like all people to try meditation as it is easy to learn and doesn't take much of your time and has many benefits.

A rendezvous with the forest king

This event happened four years back. It was holidays for us after the end of yearly exams in pre university college. As usual we had planned an adventure .

The idea was to visit the Nagarhole wildlife sanctuary. We went till there in a quails and when we reached the place to our utter dismay we came to know that their safari vehicle had already left. Also the costs were high so we decided to cross over to Kerala and see the forest from that side.

It proved to be very good decision since we were able to see much of the forest for a longer time at half the price.

Coming to the main point, as we went inside that forest we saw many animals there, all kinds. I still remember some of them , for eg: Malabar squirrel, bisons, deers and many others. As we were moving in the jeep, we were confronted by a single male elephant.
That was one hell of an experience for me. The elephant was towering over us, waiting for us to make the move. There it stood in that majestic manner in which only they can show. It was the king of that forest and was not pleased at us invading its territory. The tension was palpable in the atmosphere. Then our jeep driver slowly started to move the jeep in reverse gear. The elephant trumpeted lifting its trunk, dismissing us.

We moved back for next 10 minutes expecting it to attack but it didn’t come. We used an alternate route to see other places inside the forest.

After that incident I have seen so many elephants in the captivity but none of them had that imposing personality and the fearsome attitude like this one.Deep down I have this doubt that I never will see such an animal again. .

To be carried or not...

Here's an good zen story which I read long back and still remember.

Long time back there was a famous zen guru. He was constantly travelling from one place to other , helping people and preaching religion. He had few disciples who followed him . One day while travelling, they had to cross a river. The flow was high . Also by the riverside, was a beautiful young woman, alone and worried . She also had to cross the river but she couldn't swim.

The disciples ignored her, since they had sworn celibacy . The guru saw her, suddenly went near her, took her in his arms, carried her across the river and left her on the other side.

The disciples were astonished and angry. How can our guru do this ? Being sworn celibacy how could he lead us in wrong path? They were angry but didn't have the courage to ask him directly. So they continued their journey .

The next day, senior most disciple gathered his courage and asked guru ' master , after being sworn celibacy , why did you touch that woman ? ‘

The guru simply said ' oh I left her on the other side of the river, I can see that you have been carrying her all the time till here!'

The disciple immediately understood that he had mentally thought of her all the time, where as his guru had seen her as a just another human being sworn in need of help. He bowed to the guru, feeling ashamed.

Three Years @ KMC

This day , three years back, I entered KMC. I can't believe time has elapsed in such a fast pace . It seems like just yesterday ! I was a novice then and now also I don't feel any different!

As I think about it, I realise that so many things have happened from that first day . Many memories rush in . . Some good some bad . . But each day has had some thing remarkable event happening. I have seen, heard, examined and I have learnt. I have seen births and deaths and all the raw human feelings . I have observed myself changing my personality slowly to adopt to newer situations which I never faced before. I have seen so many of others changing their lifestyles. One thing I dare to say is that change is the one constant thing in life . If you fail to adopt, you can't survive here. To sum up the last three years, I have learned to adapt to situations and survive.

Trekking to charmadi in monsoon

It was a rainy day when I got the call. Kabir had called me to inform about a trek to charmadi ghats and Ballala rayana durga .’ Mostly it won't be possible as the heavy rains may disrupt traffic and all no?’ I asked .  Kabir reasoned that we would take a Toyota qualis and that we had never gone trekking in rainy weather and it would be a great adventure . That much coaxing was enough for me . I joined the group.

 We left at 6 30 am on Saturday morning . Our team had 10 members which was quite big . . Most of them were my class mates in high school or pre unis . I hadn't seen them for years . So it was like a small reunion . We had breakfast in Ujire. And we bought snuff powder and tobacco leaves in a shop. From our previous experiences, we had learnt not to go trekking without some stuff to get rid of leeches. We also bought some snacks .

 It had started to drizzle lightly by then. We had expected heavy rains but this weather was ok .  As we slowly progressed through the hair pin curves , we saw many beautiful waterfalls just beside the road . We stopped in many places to take photos. Then we also saw the beautiful alekan falls , which is also on the way. The weather was getting chilled . There was  thick mist  everywhere.

                                                                     (alekan falls)

We reached kottigehara by 11 a.m. Its a small town situated above charmadi ghats . From this place we didn't know the way up properly. So we asked bystanders for directions . We had to reach sankasale and climb from there. All the people were astonished to see us going there in this time. We were curious about this , but soon we found out why.

As we reached near B.r.durga , road became narrow and after 10km there was only mud road. We went 5 kms more in that road and parked our vehicle. There was still 5 more kms to walk. Suddenly the sky turned dark grey. And within few minutes it started to rain heavily. We got a bit discouraged but we expected this so we put on our jackets and started our trek.

It was not too long before someone shouted ‘leech’!!  suddenly everyone started looking at their legs..!! some of the team members were getting this ‘leech therapy’ for the first time so they were cursing these slimy, bloodthirsty creatures. I remembered my first encounter  with the leeches. I too was terrified by them at that time but now after many trekkings I had few tactics which would give me some advantage. The idea is to stay ahead and not to stop anywhere. But after some time my shoes were also covered with crawling sticky leeches. So I stopped at the middle of a small stream , removed the leeches one by one patiently with the help of tobacco leaves. If you hold the leaf over the leech, it will stiffen and get dislodged. Mud road came to an end when we reached Hori Khan estate.

From this place we’re supposed to see beautiful view of Ballala rayana durga, but nothing was there to be seen. Everything was covered  by mist. We found a place relatively free of leeches and discussed about our next step. We had come this far and nobody wanted to go back simply so we decided to move ahead.

What we entered next was pure hell…

Full of leeches and other creepy crawling creatures,  Thorny bushes everywhere also big logs obstructing the path. In fact there was no path as such. There was very little light creeping inside the thick canopy. It was a humid and wet climate with constant rain. Obviously within few minutes we were lost inside the deep forest. We didn’t know how to go forward now.

Then we saw two dogs following us, probably they were from that estate so we let them move forward, showing  us the way . They  did move smartly for some time but afterwards they  went on two different directions confusing us. All of us were quite tired by now .. then, we saw the remains of the fort wall..

There were some pavement or something above our route. So me and Kabir took a detour  to examine it. As we went near it I heard the most terrifying sound I’ve ever heard! Some wild animal was very near to us and had warned us not to come near. Mostly it was a wild boar or a bison I don’t know for sure. The moment we heard it, we panicked and ran for our life!! After 5 minutes we met the other members and told them to change the route. Now we moved along a stream , slowly climbing upwards over slippery rocks and we reached the top of the hill. We could see the vast view only for few seconds before the mist covered all of us again. We couldn’t find the main entrance in that fog…hell ! we could hardly see each others faces!! We tried to move over the old wall in hopes of finding the entrance but sadly it too ended shortly. We saw there was no sense in moving ahead, we decided to go back..

We were almost there…had reached the top but couldn’t get that sense of fulfillment. We will climb it again , some other time, to conquer it again..

We came down very slowly and by the time we had reached our vehicle, it was 3 p.m.  We were exhausted and hungry .  We had steaming hot neer dosas and mirchi bhaji in kottige hara. Then we started our journey back home. Thus it was  the end to our adventure.

 team: Bharat,Kabir,Sharath,Karthik,Pradeep,Vineeth,     Nishanth,Ramachandra, Gautham (L-R)

me and my cousin

PURPOSE OF LIFE

FICTION

Long time back there was a man. He wanted to achieve something great. So he started acquiring knowledge. He wanted to know the purpose of life . But no book could give him that .

It was not mentioned by any of his mentors , some of whom were of great expertise and fame . He became very sad that he couldn't get the answer. He was depressed all the time. He further studied and studied . .

Later he thought penance would give his answer. So he went to a mountain and started his penance. But no avail , he still didn't get the solution . His sadness persisted and progressed . He became very old and fragile, still his quest moved on.

 Finally he was in his death bed , when God appeared in front of him.' Son , what is it that you want to know from me?' God asked in a kind voice. The old man asked 'The great one, please tell me the purpose of this life, the existence .'

God replied ' I pity you, for the reason that the answer is rather simple, life is there so that you can enjoy it. Purpose of this life is to be happy . Too bad you spent it in misery.'

Where are the rains????

That's the question everybody is asking now! I m so astounded at seeing a clear blue sky in June end! How can that ever happen? June, for people like me who were born and brought up in coastal karnataka is a dark wet and humid month .  But this is the first time I am seeing so less rainfall here.  And if it rains less here, I don't know what will happen in the arid plains above the ghats. . We really underestimate our dependence on monsoon rains . Since in South India rivers also require adequate rains the situation looks much more concerning.  It looks as if nature skipped a season. .

Although we say we are very advanced and all still this situation is showing how still we are so dependent on nature. All the reservoirs have dried up. Means no water , no electricity from next week . . Two of the most basic needs of 21st century. . Now all that can be done is to wait and pray for rains. Weathermen say its going to rain next week but I don't think they are reliable. They lost their credibility when they predicted this time its going to rain in early may! But hope remains that some how the situation will turn normal.  

P.S.  I asked my grand pa when was the last time he had seen a situation like this. He told me it was the end of 70's when the rains didn't come in June like this . . Now that’s 30 years ago!  

A story of two stones

Long time back there were two big stones lying near a city. One of them was a bit prideful and the other one was very humble.

The king of the city decided to build a temple so he thought of building it outside the city. So the workers started building the temple . The two stones were selected as good ones . They were washed and cleaned. One of the stones thought it was very valuable where as the other one was silent.

Soon the sculptors started hitting the stones with their instruments . It was highly painful process, chips of its own parts were being removed. So the proud stone prayed to god.

God appeared in front of it and asked what was its problem . The stone said people were causing harm to it and creating pain throughout its body. So it wanted the pain to stop. The god granted its wish .

From that day  sculptors didn't come near it. Where as the other stone was still getting blows and pains all the time . It didn't break down or budge . It silently took all the pain and still didn't complain . The proud stone felt like laughing at this idiotic behavior.

Time went on and the temple was completed. It was a majestic structure . The king himself came for the opening ceremony . He saw the proud stone lying by the side and instructed it to be used as a place to wash legs and clean the utensils . So the stone was used for that purpose, everyday getting all the dirt and filth. One day one of the sculptors was passing by , stopped to wash his legs in that stone.

The stone asked him what had happened to the other silent stone . “Oh that one? We constructed a beautiful idol of god out of that stone. Now it resides inside the garbha griha of the temple receiving all the prayers and offerings from people .”

This story had appeared in some book or magazine long time back. I like the way how the moral is brought out in this story. Hope you liked it too.

My ideas about stories

Its interesting to study human habit of constructing stories and telling it to others. Many a times a story is not what it seems to be. Although the story looks simple, it does have very profound and deep meaning if you really look at it clearly .

 In India there is no scarcity for stories . Even a stone lying by the roadside has its own story! Also important is the Indian tradition of imparting values through small stories. I can say the panchatantra , jataka stories, the great epics of Ramayana and Mahabharata , Birbal, Tenali.. so many more . All intended to impart the profound philosophy of life into the young minds .  Indian system of joint family is also of importance here. Grandparents are the one who usually tell such stories to children in home. In fact my earliest memories comprise of my grandpa telling me stories from Mahabharata. .I can vaguely remember how I used to fantasize about the great battles and other stories. They had a big impact on me. By the age of 4 I was already into story books . I have read thousands of stories by now but still the enthusiasm hasn't subsided. 

May be it has to do something with the basic mechanics of mind. The philosophy appears bland and tasteless if its imparted as it is but if you hide the philosophy behind a story it does look interesting .  Its like how a mother gives a bitter medicine hidden in honey to a child.

So I believe our culture is so rich and ancient not only because some great men did some works but also  because those values were transmitted from generation to next through stories . My next post is going to be such a story which I read when I was a kid . 

Heart Breaker

FICTION

It was a pre arranged meeting. Ram had decided that he would tell her today. He would tell her that she was the most important person in his life. Not a single moment was there when he didn't think of her. For him she was the angel on earth. She had an irresistible charm about her way of talking, her way of walking, the way she smiled at him. . Everything about her was special. 

But he was afraid. He was very afraid that she would turn him down. After all what did he have. Only heart full of love . . Not even a job. He didn’t expect himself to be accepted by her. But he had to tell her anyway. Because it had cost him lots of sleepless nights and days of heartache to come to this decision . At least he would be happy that he didn’t hide anything from her. For they were close friends now. He had chosen the seashore as the meeting place. He felt the oceans would calm him down.

 But so wrong it had turned out. His heart rate shot up as he saw her coming.  She wouldn't count in best looking females of world. But her soul was the most beautiful . He had no doubts.

 'Aarthi' he called her in a cowering voice.

“ Hey hi! Why the surprise meet here? “She asked in that most innocent voice. He forgot what he had to say in that moment. He said something incoherently which made her look at him with those wide eyes. He was lost again  

 “Come on you didn’t call me to discuss some science problem did you? “      

 “Erm. . . No. . I wanted to tell you something from a long time..”

“what is it? Tell me no? “

“Hmm. . You look very beautiful today. .”

“ Thank you.” She just smiled.

“Its about me and you yaar.”

“ What about me and you? We are such close friends. “

That did it . . He couldn't tell her . He somehow directed conversation in other direction. But his heart was broken into thousand pieces . He had wasted the only golden opportunity. The mood was apocalyptic.  

Aarthi was returning from beach. Her cell rang. It was her heartthrob calling. Her pulse raced at the moment.   Her mind went blank hearing his voice.

 So wonderful he is. What do I have to impress him?I have to tell him one day anyway.  But what if he turns me down?  Atleast  I'll be happy I didn't hide anything from him.

Where should I tell him? Sea shore may be the right place.Sea may calm me down.                                        

“Hey hi why did you texted me to call??.”

 “Its about me and you . . I wanted to tell something for a long time…. 

  “What about us? We are such close friends. .   “ 

When lightning struck

Have you ever been struck by lightning? It sounds preposterous… but  yes I had experienced the lightning once..yup it still sounds improbable right? Here is the story how it happened.

I think I was in 5^th standard that time and had come to my native place with my grandpa on a weekend. It was the beginning of monsoon season and there were lots of thunder and lightning were there. I had noticed a peculiar phenomenon inside our home. The lights were on but the power was off!! And the intensity of light varied along with each bolt of lightning..it was real scary you know.. most probably the earthing system was not there  I didn’t realize it then.   I had obtained a shampoo bottle from somewhere and I wanted to put water in to it so that I can make bubbles. To do this ,I had to reach the  water tap  which was near the main switch board. The bolts of lightning were constantly coming down to the earth. Still I had to do this work because I had bragged a lot about bubbles with my cousin and now wanted to show it to him.

I gathered some courage and went near the tap and started filling the shampoo bottle. When the bottle was almost half full, lightning struck………!

It was as if a hundred whips had  been lashed simultaneously against my leg. Or something like I had been run over by a road roller.. I couldn’t move my leg from the spot. I was scared to the core. Some how I managed to pull myself inside the house dragging my leg. Then started to massage my leg vigorously hoping to make it normal. Fortunately within few minutes my leg started working again. I breathed a sigh of relief. Then it started to rain very heavily..thunders subsided

I never mentioned it to anybody for a long time. What had happened actually there was lightning had somehow travelled through the main switch board and was going into ground and it took my wet leg as the path of least resistance. Wet human skin is 1000 times more conductive than dry skin. It was the most minute part of the lightening energy which had passed through my leg, as I only had temporary loss of function only for few minutes. But the experience was terrible enough, I had so many nightmares about it later. I did not see the flash of light, may be I was dazed or in shock , but I cant remember myself seeing the flash. All others events are crystal clear in my mind.

To this date, when I see a lightning, this event passes through my mind . I have been very particular not to go out during lightning  unnecessarily. They say once you get struck by lightning, chances are high that you’ll  get struck again! I ‘ve read about people who got struck repeatedly by lightning, some as many as 11 times!!  For me that one time was more than enough!!

The ending lesson

FICTION

As I have finished my sessionals  now , i m once more free to tell you stories . . Lets begin..

 I m showing you a student, a medical student studying for his exams . You can see a pile of huge medical text books lying in his table. I wonder how he can study that much, but he has to study , because there is an exam the next day. Oh I forgot to introduce him. He is vish. , Vishwanath to be precise. . Tomorrow is medicine exam and he is worried and tense because medicine is such a huge topic to read! And he has got this irritating headache . . Probably tension headache,  He tells himself.

‘ But why am I getting this neck pain. . Too irritating. !’ He hates to study in such a small congested room but what to do? he doesn’t have the money to be in a big flat. He thinks of all the rich friends and their luck.

‘ There , you vermin!’ He screams out of frustration. He has seen one more cockroach scurrying away. He searches for the insect spray. Its lying above the cupboard. He reaches the cupboard and gets it and sprays it over the cockroach. It wriggles and dies. . He throws the spray down the table. . Thats his habit you see. . To put all the things under  the table. . Now back to study. He says and sits on chair. Puff.  . The light goes off. .

*#@& . . He screams out of frustration . . Today is not my day. . Lets find that emergency lamp . He starts groping in dark . ‘Aah. . ‘ The neck pain increases .  Where is that pain relief spray? Again , under the table. Still groping he gets and sprays it over his neck .  ‘Lets put some more it might help to keep me awake throughout the night, I have to stay awake to finish reading all the stuff..on the second thought I’ll read one chapter now and sleep for a while get up early and study.’

 I know many of you have done this on the previous day of your exams..haven’t you??

But the neck pain doesn’t subside, he hasn’t even felt the chilly relaxing feel that you get after spraying menthol over the skin. Fortunately power comes back. Vish starts to read again..’Hmm  I would like to finish poisoning chapter now, it’s the easiest one’ He opens the chapter and begins to read.

Organophosphate poisoning : Organophosphates are one of the most powerful poisons .They are easily available in market and are the most common poisons used for suicides. Early manifestations are due to inhibition of the enzyme cholinesterase  and the resultant accumulation of acetylcholine in different anatomic sites. Muscarinic, nicotinic, and central nervous system signs result .

The muscarinic signs consist of pin-point pupils, vomiting, salivation, diarrhoea, rhinorrhoea, bradycardia and pulmonary oedema. The central signs include impaired consciousness, bilateral hyperreflexia and extensor plantars. Blah blah blah………………………….

He suddenly recognizes something is not right… he’s got this intense nauseating feeling..he gets up  and runs to the toilet and vomits..

’oh this is not good..I might have had some bad food today or is it because of headache??’

He washes his mouth  and slowly limps towards chair, fatigue is setting in , he feels it .but he needs to finish the one last chapter and he will do it.

He starts reading again.

Poisoning is usually by ingestion for suicidal purposes, but can occur during spraying by absorption through the skin. Patients  die due to drowning in his own secretions due to muscarinic stimulation of the parasympathetic system and uncontrollable bronchorrhoea.

He feel terribly ill again…that nausea has come back and he has to run now. But as he gets up, the world starts spinning and he collapses , vomiting on the floor. He is very anxious now, as he notices his mouth is full of saliva.. he tries to get up, coughing ..but  he falls down again, this time with severe chest pain. The coughing increases in intensity, each one with that piercing pain. He tries to breathe but he can’t..to his ultimate horror he knows that fluid is creeping into his airway, slowly drowning him internally. The fear of death is so very real in his face. He tries to get hold of something. He gets a can on his hand, It’s the one which he had thrown few minutes back , under  the table, he tries to read but he cant read anymore, as his vision gets blurred. But he realizes the truth now, far too late..

 

As he descends into unconsciousness, we move away from the scene..oh yeah after taking a look at his hand. We are only observers here..coming back to the scene, that’s the  insecticide in his hand, with POISON written in bold letters. Also if you need more details, its given below the warning. organophosphate poison, avoid skin contact..

The pain relief spray is over the cupboard, you notice now..it wasn’t below the table..

…………………Some lessons  you’ll  never learn in your life…………………..

So simple..!!.....???!

I was thinking how simple things which occur in our nature can be so complicated if we look at it closely . I was listening to choti si asha song from movie roja. I remembered the fisherman throwing fish net and a boat in calm water and a big water falls from that movie. Then the question came…. “how? "

Hmm. . As the sound waves struck my ear drum the disturbance was transferred to inner ear . There hair cells(neurons) in organ of corti got excited and started firing . It was carried upwards by vestibulocochlear nerve . By this time sound was converted into information of certain code by differentiating pitch of the sound and the amplitude of vibrating surface area of cochlea, the hearing organ.. And then information was 'filtered' at nerve nucleus in the brainstem . From here upwards only the info which was of any significance to me were allowed higher. I have no idea how it will be done but as the information reaches the brain, temporal lobe to be specific, it will be again refined . The information regarding music will be sent forward for further processing. The same signals will be sent to different lobes of brain simultaneously.

At the beginning when I decide to listen certain gate keeper neurons keeping memories of musical sounds will be having a low threshold of excitation . This might occur by co excitation or cross firing from frontal cortex to memory area. So the new signal is compared to the memorised signal or summated 'on the fly' . If there was any associated visual memory stored which in anyway relates to the incoming signal it will be immediately sent as ‘attachments’ to my frontal cortex wherein my consciousness resides. Hmm may be my occipital lobe may also play a part in this as I could see it in my minds eye!!

How can all these occur within milliseconds?? Science gives me the answer as electrochemical interactions…. Nature never ceases to amaze me..

So simple…………….yet so complicated isn’t it??

Musings about music..

It's been a long time since I wanted to write about music..finally I have sat down to write few words about it. I’ve always  wondered how man invented music..Here are the few thoughts which came across my mind. May be it was a man who saw a bird singing beautifully and tried to imitate it. Or may be it was  a mother who was crooning her child and in that intense moment of affection she started singing. May be it was a heartbroken lover..All  the intensely  felt emotions lead to creation of music. We can say that one piece of music is worth 1000 emotions !

I had the chance to get exposed to different genres of music ..My father is a big fan of old hindi songs and my mother is a staunch follower of carnatic classical music. I grew up listening to both of their favourite songs along with that the concurrent bollywood and indipop songs in the  tv and radio. Once after coming to mangalore my roommate first exposed me to rock music..soon I heard different genres of western music such as rock,jazz,pop,hiphop,blue,altern etc…

And one more thing about music it’s a completely different experience when you listen to it and when you create it yourself..you can try and see, you feel strangely deprived of all the emotions at the end of creating music. so it shows clearly that all your emotions came out in the form of music .Thats what I felt when I tried creating my own variations in alaap of a raga in classical style. I‘ve reserved more such experiences for a separate blog on my violin. Yes I have learnt to play violin in carnatic classical style. I was also vocally trained for few years which I have not used since so many years.

Whatever may be the genre of the music , the final idea is, music is a form of expression of  unspeakable or inexpressible thoughts and emotions. you see the beautiful world and you want to show the beauty to others.. so you sing ..to share the joy that u felt or to share any other emotions you want to share.

I have an observation to make about an interesting difference between the Indian and western music. I feel western music exaggerates your feelings i.e, if you are happy it makes you more happy and if you are sad it makes you more sad. Whereas Indian classical music calms you down no matter whatever state you are in..if you are happy or sad you end up being calmer than before. I m not saying that western music is inferior to Indian one. No way, because for a musician every single piece of music created in this earth  should be  beautiful. That’s my view on this issue. I support both western and eastern music equally, since they are two sides of the same coin.

Thats it for today..will write much more on further posts..

THE WINDOWS AND THE GATES

Hehe actually nothing related to Microsoft here ;) . I was musing about my own memories of my home, the one I will be leaving soon . I don’t know about others but in my home ,the gate and the windows are literally gates and windows to many many memories.. every time I look at them I  get reminded of one or the other events , sometimes many events revolving around the same place..

This is the gate to my home, it also is a gateway to lots of memories. I remember playing shuttle badminton with my sister using this gate as net!! That was when I was in 5^th std I guess.. I used to climb the gate (left part) and move along with it..I remember many important people opening the gate and coming in..I also remember the first time when I took  our car outside this gate. Just as I write all these still more memories flood in to my consciousness..its as if a big part of my life is intimately linked to it.

 

 

 

 

 

                                               

This window also has something to tell..you can see a newspaper lying there right? This window is right in front part of the house. This is where I used to enjoy reading newspaper everyday morning along with chai..Its a ritual to me , to enjoy the daily tea with news, if I miss either of the two, I will be upset whole day! Once I was so engrossed in reading news that I got up without realizing the sharp edge of window was behind me..I had a nasty injury to my back to remember that event!

                                  

This window is in terrace,  where I used to practice cricket alone..:) the marks of dirty ball impact are still there on the walls ;) . Also when I did not get the expected ranking in AIEEE, I remember myself braving it in front of others and afterwards quietly coming here and crying my heart out..I thought I had lost completely  in life and there was no hope. How wrong I was.. I realize now that my failures  were tests of my strength to cope up. I’ve learnt more from my failures than from my successes.

                                           

Hmm .. this one looks kinda scary isn’t it? In fact it is… this window has given me more nightmares than you can ever imagine..whenever I see this window only one picture flashes in front of my eyes. The picture of my father , holding his chest in one hand and supporting himself on the railings as he suffered from angina for the first time.. he was sweating profusely , was breathing labouriously  and was asking for help.. I never felt such fear and helplessness ever before ..fear of losing  my  family.  It looks as if the cursed moment still lingers around this window..

Closing the windows , I would like to add that this is an effort to console myself for the reason that I have to move to a new house. Its such a difficult experience for me to leave a place which I called home for last  15 years. But change is the constant thing in our life isn’t it. I would give still more glimpses of this place  ..next time..

 

 

Power - Politics

Tomorrow I am going to exercise my right to vote, and give the power  to represent my constituency and to rule my country to some politician. So tomorrow is the day when a common man like me becomes all powerful..say as if in a fantasy story..

I wanted to share my ideas about  power  and publicity..

Just today evening , me and my family friends had an interesting discussion about the ongoing elections and to which party should our votes go. It was highly interesting to see people’s power so alive and in action!!!  How much ever you dislike our ruling system, you have to admire it, atleast the day before elections!

We think that the candidates who get elected will get all the ruling power ..but the reality is indeed very different. Publicity  and power usually do not go together..You get a choice, either you can be popular or you can be powerful..you don’t get to be an allrounder. I had the chance to meet one such person who chose to be powerful. When  you talk with such people, you get amazed by the amount of control they have over these so called rulers of the country. Whichever party comes to power, its always a puppet government and a puppet PM…There are vested interests which control  all kinds of politicians even without entering political battlefield. I m not saying that our MPs don’t have any saying about the ruling,  they do have freedom, but there is a limit..

In a way, it is right for the powerful people to not to lead a public life, since too much power attracts too many enemies..isn’t it?  I m always fascinated by powerful people..how they gain  power, how they  manipulate it and how they lose it…I d like to give examples of godfather novel or the Tristan betrayal by Robert Ludlum and many many other examples all stating the same..Power is not present in the hands of popular leaders..

So as I vote tomorrow, I know that  I will be the all powerful man..i hope you also will vote and experience the feeling of being supremely powerful! ;)

Obese-session

This blog is about the side effects of over eating.

I have to mention  the words which made me think deeply about this problem. One of my close friends explained it in a very thought provoking way. He said that how ironic it is that people blame you if you smoke or drink that you are destroying your health but they fail to recognize that over eating is  also equally dangerous…..infact if you tell somebody that he is eating too much it is taken as an offense! Actually I have seen people encouraging others and themselves to eat more ,eventhough they know that it is going to affect their health. I m sure each of you have experienced this during various functions and festivals.

It all has a reason I think ,buried deep in the sands of time, most probably during evolution of humankind for the survival of the species we developed this storage capacities inside us ,so that we could survive during winter or any unfavourable climate not allowing us to hunt for food. Over eating was a means of survival then. But as the time progressed, humans evolved to be the most intelligent creatures on the earth. Humans stopped hunting ,started agriculture and animal husbandry. So food was available during difficult times also as we had invented storage methods to preserve food. But as they say, Old habits die hard..although our workload came down, we continued to follow the old habit of overeating. The practice which was a boon to us now turned as a bane. It lead to the problem of obesity, the king of all diseases I would say, as it is the most common problem affecting people now and figures as a risk factor in hundreds of life threatening diseases. So I think it is that old subconscious survival instinct which makes people angry when they are told that they eat too much. Most of them don’t like to listen to anybody else ,say that they have right to eat as much as they want to. Yes is my answer to them, but I’d like to add that you should exactly know how much do you want. Over eating is comparable to greed in a strange way…

Tongue, a important organ for this topic. Sooo many delicacies are invented every year, so many lost recipes re-discovered, just for the sake of this 4 inch long piece of complex tissue! We almost forget that eating is a minor part in the process of acquiring nutrition. But all the importance is given to TASTE. Interestingly we find fatty foods more tasty, again the work of subconscious instinct..

It sounds so strange , that we spend hours cooking for a particular dish which we finish within minutes. Also that whatever we eat, is the same stuff after it passes to our stomach..strange way of nature to ensure equality! I despise people who gobble up whatever is put in front of them. Eating is also an art…If you learn to enjoy the food properly, you notice that your intake becomes less!

So the conclusion is that , enjoy each bit of food that you take in thoroughly..please don’t eat more than what you think you need. Understand that over eating also is equally bad as smoking or drinking. Lets make ourselves free from this obsession.

Silent Survival

FICTION

Today is the day..I was thinking. This was the day for which  had been waiting for..The selection for army .It was my  childhood  dream to join the army  and serve the nation. So I had finished my studies and had applied for this opportunity. We were made to sit on the sports stadium .We were eagerly waiting for the exercises to begin. I have to say  that I am physically very strong. I had been preparing for this moment from years .I had everything an army man should have. I was very sure that I will get selected.

I looked around looking for the aspirants .All were young men like me physically strong. Then I saw this guy. He was a bit short but very well built. He was standing apart from others, alone… He had a cold determination in his eyes. I was sure he would give a tough competition for me. I went and stood beside him and said hi…

He turned and smiled …but didn’t say anything. It was OK with me. We had just met anyway. But I was sure I wanted him as my friend. Then An officer came and said the selection would start now..

I tried to be confident ,trying to stretch my muscles so that I could perform well. While I was getting ready I saw him coming towards me. Again he smiled and raised a thumb..I also told him all the best.

Then the drill began..We had to do lot of physically straining exercises. Lot of people fell to the ground because of the scorching heat but  I didn’t flinch..I knew this would be there and had prepared well. I noticed my new friend also had prepared well. He also passed all of the physical hurdles.

Then came the tough part..We were made to stand in a straight line. We were standing in attention heads held high. The commander  came, looking closely at us, asking questions. He had a stammering voice , I observed. He was the one who would select the best of us. I looked at my new friend ,who was standing in front of me, saw him sweating, with a concerned look in his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking.

The commander came towards him. He asked him .’wwwww..what’s ur nnnnnnname? ,wwwwwwhy ddddo yyyyyyou want to join ttttttthe arr arr arrrrmy?’

For my utter disbelief ,he didn’t answer the question…! I was so surprised. I knew he very much wanted to answer the question but he was not doing it. I wondered what was wrong with him. I thought he was dumb or so..

The commander got irritated asked the same question again..still no answer…Commander was furious..He said “ddddo yyyou think mmme as annn idiot?  Annnswer mmme or st st st strip and run arrr around  th tht th the stadium ten timesssss and  th th ththen do 1000 push ups.”

Again he didn’t answer but started to strip!..He ran 10 rounds around the stadium in chaddi…! Then he started to do push ups..He was tired, I could clearly see but he didn’t bother..He did 400 push ups, then collapsed..exhausted.

The commander was amused and impressed at the same time, he told his officer to give first aid and make sure that this person was selected.

Next my turn came, I answered his questions properly without even flinching a bit…I was afraid if I’d flinch, he’d take it as personal insult for his stammering. He was impressed with my answers. He told his officer to include me in the selection…

I was so happy that I had achieved my goal…I was selected to the army!!

I met him once again in the train, he was sitting in the birth next to me, we were posted to the border area..I asked him immediately. “Man are you mad ? why didn’t you answer him that day? You dumb or something?

He smiled and said.. ”nnnno mmmmy nnnname is rrrrrrrraju..dddddo you think ththththat he wwwwould hhhhav ssssselected mmmme ifff I ha hahad answered?”

Once again I was shocked! i couldn’t suppress a smile at the whole event. Its surprising how things turn out at the end..isnt it??

 

The end which wasn't

I m sweating a lot.. I realise..I look up and see the bright burning sun..I m heading towards a very high peak..which one??? its all a little hazy...too much of sun can do that to you.I look around. There are many big rocks seen at a distance,tall grass surrounds me .Its brown in colour ..so it must be summer time then, I tell to myself.

HEY HEY HEY !!!! am I alone????

How did I end up in this place?? Where on the earth am I? I remember myself and my friends starting to climb yesterday morning.Since the climb was very tough  we decided to climb the mountain slowly, We took rest near the starting of the steep climb yesterday night.I dont know what happened next.....

Come on think you Idiot !!!,I try to remember furiously ...but I m still blank..

May be they left me here and moved forward...but WHY?? what had happened..?

My survival instinct gets activated.I see my bag lying besides me.I take the bag and rummage through it. I find a water bottle and drink from it.Uff...! so tiring it is... I think

Oh SHIT!!! that was the only bottle of water I had! What should I do next?? I suddenly get worried.I should move on and try to find my partners I decide..Thats the only way I can survive.

I gather all my items and start climbing up.Disturbing thoughts occupy my head but I forcefully move the m away and try to think about the task in hand.The cliff looks so high and I m right at the middle of the journey,I cant go back also..So Slowly I continue my climb

I feel sweat trickling through my face.I try to put my tongue out and try to catch that drop because I m so thirsty now.I need some water but around me is a very dry land with grass.Hmm I can try eating grass I think.I try to remove the grass nearby.It seems so difficult because I m so tired.Ouch! the grass has cut through my fingers...! I now learn that mountain grasses can be so sharp.Bright red blood oozes out of the wound.I try to lick the wound hoping to get some moisture to tongue..but its not of any use..My mouth is so dry,tongue feels sticky and then there is the metallic taste of blood.I try second time to remove the grass by bending it and the top most part comes in my hands.I look for any signs of moisture in that but it also looks depressingly dry.Anyway lets try ..I put in into my mouth and try to eat.

Aaaaaah! I cry...the grass has cut through my tongue! It pains like hell..And I can feel thick sticky blood pouring into my mouth.I feel dizzy,I start to cry like a baby..I m alone here help me!! I try to scream but I cant..You cant scream when your mouth is full of blood beleive me!

I try to swallow the blood but It kinda sticks to my throat..I curse myself for coming to this hell.

Then I start to move forward but everything around me starts to roll..I unsteadily move some steps and collapse to ground.Even my breath feels so dry.

Then I realise that i m not going to make it..Yes this is how its gonna end.Oh my God! I m going to die inch by inch ..

Then there is a rush of energy inside me..I get up and move upwards and I move for 10 more minutes,then I collapse again.I realise I m at the edge of a steep cliff.My knees are bleeding I realise and I feel like crying again.Does my life had to end like this? I think.

Again the world starts rolling ..I try to walk but suddenly I cant find anything to step on..

I realise I m falling down...down... down...

THUD!!!!

I suddenly get up from my bed! I m sweating throughout....I get up and move towards fridge.

I get the water bottle  and drink..water is so cool..so soothing ..so refreshing...

.........................................Water is the elixir of life...................................................

My God ,it was one helluva nightmare!!!!

one more trek..one more piece of heaven.....

Why is it so that I get restless when I stay away from forests just for few weeks? I've started to wonder now...What is so special about trekking which makes me feel so happy when i m doing it and terribly depressed when I m not in action? I have no clue...

It wasn't the same from childhood..i started trekking only after I was in high school..I didn't find it very interesting for the first time to be truthful,I thought it was too tough for me.but still, there was this strange attraction whenever I saw these mountains and ghats.I still donot know what kind of attraction it is, but there is something in these mountains which calls me whenever I get a chance to look at them..I would like to quote the famous mountaineer george mallory here.He lived during early part of 20th century,He tried to climb Mount Everest more than 20 times unsuccessfully.somebody asked him why he tried so many times to climb that mountain.His answer was simple,'beacuse it's there' . I m sure if there are any trekkers reading this they will understand it perfectly.By the way mallory died midway on his  expedition to climb Everest in 1924.

Well this blog was supposed to be about trekking to Amedikkel, a mountain in the western ghats,but today I am remenescing about my own reasons for going to these places let me talk about them first,the adventure at Amedikkel will come later.

I am a medical student and I am a reasonable guy.I know that going to forests is dangerous.

I know many deadly diseases spread by bugs which are only seen in the jungle.I know that there are poisonous snakes crawling around and I know the effects of their venomous bite.I know that I am succeptible to many more life threatening situations there.So it looks very unreasonable of me to go there right?

Here are few reasons which I think make me go to these places:

The Western ghats are amazing places believe me! once you climb on top of these mountains you get to see how beautiful the planet earth is...I have seen some views wich I m sure I wont see again.Its like you stand at gateway of heaven.The blue sky,green forests,sea of clouds and the red sun..Its like a painting by the god himself.I have felt the presence of a universal force or a supreme power at those places,especially during sunrise and sunset. I cant explain it using words,you better see it to believe it! I would say that sun is the greatest god I have ever seen..;)

When you see it there you feel like laughing and you feel like crying and you talk all nonsense stuff! It happened the same way with all the different people who came with me to these places.These are the views which are not to be missed in life..

Its said that during times of distress and exertion we find our best friends.It has been very true in my case.I have made very valuable friends during these journeys.The sweltering heat,burning sun makes way for lasting friendships! while climbing together you tend to see strength and weaknesses of your partners.so you know them very well at the end!

And one more important thing is to know about the value of your own life.You tend to get angry that you failed in an exam or that your parents dont listen to you or that you feel you are very useless person and your life is a waste.I also get this feeling many times.But one thing I realised during all these trekkings is human life is sacred.You better not call it a waste!

You realise your heart is pumping blood like a big generator machine!your body is sweating like anything!your muscles are working overtime!All to preserve the special gift called life...The bland Idli which makes you nauseate becomes the most delicious food when you eat it during trekking when you are really hungry.you notice that you got scratchwounds in your arm

but it doesnt matter because your mind is the ultimate controller.If you want to climb a mountain really believe me you can climb it ! Half the climbing is over when you decide firmly!

thats what I have found out I dont know whether others will agree or not.

And then there is photography which is one of my favourite hobby which makes me go and see new places..

There may be a genetic predisposition in my case which makes me succeptible to the charm of western ghats ;).My grandfather spent most of his life time travelling through ghats.He was managing cardamom estates there.While I was a small kid I used to listen to him telling stories about his adventures in the forests and all..It had a profound effect on my thinking I suppose..

There are still more reasons which I want to tell but I m afraid time's running out..some other time I will tell more about this..So thats it for today dear reader :) 

Story behind a word

I just came across an interesting story while I was reading some book 

I d like to share it with you all.

Its about origin of the word 'Quiz'.

The term Quiz originated in the late 19th century..Actually this word was invented by a person

Jim Dally was his name..He was a theater manager.He had lots of friends with whom he used to talk everyday.

One day while he was chatting with friends ,the discussion turned towards english language.

He boasted that introducing a new term to the language in no time.Obiviously his friends ridiculed him.This guy took the 

challenge seriously.He made up his mind that he would introduce a word which was never heard

before.So he thought about it throughout that day and finally he thought of this word i.e, quiz

Next he called all the young boys who were around and gave them sweets and also he gave 

each person a chalk.He told all the boys to write the word quiz in whichever places they can find.

curious boys agreed to do this.So the next day the whole town was abuzz with discussion about 

the strange new word which was seen written at all the places.So this guy finally was successful

in completing the challenge.The word Quiz was included in english language.Originally it meant 'to trick or joke'

but later on it got the meaning 'to ask'.

Interesting ..isn't it?   :)

The invisible wall

Today's blog will be about the invisible wall..Yes it is invisible and in physical sense it does not exist,but you do feel its presence..

Yes,I am talking about the barriers that exist between people..may be based on religion,caste,creed,status or whatever people choose to distance themselves from other people..

As far as I know, money is the greatest divider of all..Nowadays it is more evident than eveer before since money means respect ..I heard from my grandpa that there was a time,a time when people were respected based on their good qualities and behaviour,a time when people were content with what they had ,and everybody knew about one another...

But now sadly,money decides everything..

Since the moment you are born you are taught to do only one thing i.e,earn money..

Your purpose of life is fulfilled only when you earn truckloads of money..Your words dont carry the authority untill you have money.

No matter how intelligent you are,how creative you are these qualities dont count till they result in creation of money..there's a subhashita  in sanskrit saying the how a person with money is all powerfull .. 

I'm sure you must have heard people talking excitedly about somebody's job based on the hi-fi salaries they get,and how their kith and kin are wasting their resources blah blah...

But  when you cross the wall and come to other side ,then only you realise that there are lot more problems on this side..

As soon as people start earning a high amount of money,they build this invisible wall..

You can see their houses,being high walled..their expensive sedans having tinted glasses 

The start to beleive they are better than others and start searching for their equals in wealth..

But there are very few rich people nowadays..and very few good people among them.

So these people get stuck..They cant lower their standards nor they can live without having social interaction with others.So most of the rich people are lonely..They dont have a friend in whom they can confide their fears or losses..So these group of people are more prone for developing stress related health disorders  .More pathetic is the story of their children..

They are not taught about the life in the normal way..They are overprotected,over stressed and sometimes overfed.Most of these children dont experience the joy of playing in the ground with other playmates,simply because their parents are worried if their child gets spoiled by 'low-class' children .So many of them have a serious communication gap with their peers,their parents and others also.Poor kids,they are simply confused with this 'status equation'.So many of them have a troubled youth..

There is much more to be told about this situation ..I will continue some other time

Concluding the article I'd like to advice people not to build these walls around them..

To believe that every human is born equal is important I feel..

Its never too late

FICTION

Its 2 a.m. in the part of world where I live,and I'm regretting my choice..

I work as an emergency specialist in the hospital,believe me is the worst job in the world..

You don't get to see the imagined rush or sainthood here..people mess up you see..mess up their freaking life and end up here.But lucky for them,they get to go outta here,either in wheelchairs or bodybags,but they get out.I'm terribly stuck,no way of getting out of this place..I m sick of seeing terribly sick people..Why couldn't I take plumbing as my line of work? I silently curse myself .It was all the same routine you see..you dont usually get a conscious patient here..As soon as patient gets out of danger,He gets transferred to the particular department  inpatient ward.Patients dont even recognise me as the one who saved their life because they dont know that I did it..I feel I've been betrayed of my rightful position..

I hear sound of siren.It graudually becomes louder,Hmm..one more case for me ,I start rubbing my eyes,getting ready to recieve the patient..I yawn twice or thrice and slowly move towards the recieving area.The ambulance stops near the entrance ,two paramedics get out in a hurry.

One of them comes to me and says, '911 call doctor,found the patient lying unconscious on floor ..'

Hmm..most probably a stroke or heart attack..I start thinking..'whats the pulse rate and bp?'       I ask 'pulse very feeble doc,bp not measurable ..' Well looks it might be a tough case to handle..

I casually open the door of ambulance and see the patient..I keep staring...

'Mom...????'

Suddenly there is an adrenaline rush in my body..I take her to my arms and look at her

she is sweaty..her lips blue..breathing is laborious, I try to get pulse but cant feel it..

I try to call the nurse but words wont come out of my mouth..

I recognise instantly that its a heart attack,suddenly my mind becomes clear..I start asking for nitroglycerine  but before i give it to her i need to confirm the diagnosis i hastily find the Ecg machine and try to fix the leads on her but I fail miserably..for the first time that is..

somehow  I fix the leads and get a reading ..It confirms my worst fears..out before my eyes is an ominous display of irregular wavy pattern of ecg recording indicating final cries of dying heart muscle..I try to calculate the amount of time i hav got to save her..most probably two minutes..two what?? 

Again I m in a frenzy..I try to get the nitroglycerine but as soon as I locate it mom's head turns to one side..again i rush to her and check her heartbeat..There is silence..I check it again..silence..

'Goddammit.....call crash cart..' I hear myself scream..

As it arrives in my mind plays visuals of my med classes..As soon as circulation stops cells start dying,first being the brain cells which die within three minutes..

'God..give me some more time........please..' I silently plead as I prepare the defibrillator..it gets charged in few seconds but those are the longest seconds in my life..as I put gel on the pads of defib machine I remember my childhood days and the beautiful face of my mother

'Charge full I clear you clear all clear...'I shout making sure nobody else gets hurt..Her body suddenly gets passively lifted up as electricity passes through her body.I dont have the courage to see the heart activity in ecg machine but somehow I find the courage to look up..

'Well done doc..We have a good cardiac rhythm .You have saved her life..Lets move her into the ICU.She's out of danger now' somebody says in background but I'm too shocked to recognise the person.

As I move her into the ICU, I start to understand the gravity of the situation.I realise this was the moment for which I had prepared all my life.This was the ultimate gift given for me,the gift of rescuing my beloved mother from mortal danger.Suddenly I feel relieved.I wipe off beads of sweat formed on my forehead.Finally the moment had arrived,the moment which made me feel fulfilled .A strange calmness descends over me..I have learnt that life is the most valuable thing in the world

I love my job now.. Its never too late to fall in love with your job isn't it?